Victoria’s Read

Valentine’s Day came and went. Falling on the first day of the week, mundane Monday didn’t help one bit to set a romantic mood for my hard working hubby. Not to mention that I had to work that day as well except, my job is my dream job but I was tired as well. “We’ll celebrate on the weekend.” My husband stated. I felt a little let down especially after hearing my friends boast about what their significant others did for them.  Candle lit dinners, long stemmed red roses and chocolate. All my favorites but nothing for me.

The rest of the week sailed by with all the hustle and bustle of normal life. Finally the weekend was here and I needed to take care of my household chores. Valentine’s Day was long gone and to be honest, I was over it. My husband tells me he loves me every day and that I am grateful for. 

Aww Sunday. A day of rest and relaxation. “Are you ready to go?” he asks as I’m leisurely enjoying my second cup of flavored coffee. “No!” I answer, a little annoyed since the weekend is when I don’t need to rush around in the morning.  Besides, I was still in my warm and cozy flannel pj’s and didn’t plan on getting out of them any time soon. Yes, I admit that I am not a morning person! Mornings are for the birds, literally.

“Well, when you are ready, let me know.” He softly announces. And then it dawns on me. Oh ya, today is our Valentines Day.  My husband is very good at remembering things like that. He never forgets our anniversary or my birthday. He knows how many years we have been married and always takes my birthday off. He says that they are special days that deserve to be celebrated.

“Do you want to go and walk around the mall?” he asks. My husband would rather wash dirty dishes than go to the mall so I jumped on that invitation right quickly.

Suddenly, I find myself sitting in a jewelry store trying on wedding band sets. Mappins has lots of sparkly bling let me tell you! “Do you like it?” my hubby asks. Of course I do. I’d have to be dead not to like the  rock on my finger. “Wrap it up, please.” I hear my husband say to the sales lady.

It was the best Valentine’s day ever.

Victoria says….Bling is beautiful

Plan dinner the night before. Have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.                                                                                      

Prepare yourself. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking.                                                                   

 Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.                      

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just to clear away clutter before your husband arrives.                                       

 Light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order. After all, catering for his comfort will give you immense personal satisfaction.                                     

 Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.                                                                                    

At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. His topics of conversation are more important than yours.                                                                     

 Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner, or other place of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.                                        

 Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Consider this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.                                                                                                      

 Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillows and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. you have no right to question him.                               

A good wife always knows her place.

From the 19th into the early 20th century the ever increasing number of middle class housewives found that having a “systematic” way with housekeeping details made for more leisure time for the housewife.

Orderly, systematic work is the great time-saver in housekeeping, as is every other vocation in life.
A written programme, of which the following is suggestive, of the order in which the regular daily work is to be done, kept where it will serve as a constant reminder, will aid greatly in the establishment of habits of method in one’s work :

1. Make the fire ; fill the tea-kettle and reservoirs. Polish the stove, when needed.

2. Dust the kitchen, which should have been left clean and in good order the night before. Wash the hands preparatory to getting breakfast, as it is always essential to have the hands and finger nails clean before handling foods and cooking utensils.

3. Get breakfast.

4. Make any preparations for dinner which may require early attention.

5. Wash dishes, including dish towels; clean sinks, hoppers, and garbage receptacles, if any.

6. Extras. Under this division may be arranged different duties for regular days; as, for example, one day each week may be devoted to extra cleaning of cupboards, reservoirs, ovens, etc.; two other days to washing and cleaning the refrigerator, extra scouring of utensils and faucets, cleaning of lights, woodwork, walls, windows, and cellar, all of which require more or less of the housekeeper’s attention, though not always demanding daily care.

7. Put the kitchen to rights. This should be done after every meal before leaving the kitchen. At the close of the day’s work everything should be left in perfect order.

It is desirable to have the housework so planned that work which must be done regularly each week, as baking, washing, and ironing, shall have its own appointed day arranged as best suits the needs and convenience of the household. There is always a best way of performing even the simplest of household details ; seek out this most advantageous method and save time by employing it.—Mrs. E. E. Kellogg in Good Health.”

~Good Housekeeping Magazine 1896

Source: www.vintage-homemaking.info

I just got back from Rochester for my one year check-up. I really can’t believe that it’s been a year already but I do know that it has been a very interesting year for me. I have lost exactly 100 pounds now and with all that weight loss, my life has changed immensely. I feel more energized now and can move around with much more ease, my health has improved dramatically and I am now confident that I will be around to hold and spoil my grandchildren one fine day.

People treat me differently. It’s very sad that overweight people are treated poorly by our society.  I have experienced this firsthand many times over and am appalled by it. People who wouldn’t even give me a moment of their time now want to talk with me over coffee. Some people say that maybe it is I who has changed and am now more approachable. I’m sure that is true to some extent but as I stated before, I am the very same person inside as I have always been!!

At my one year checkup my nutritionalist stated that I have been going a great job at maintaining my current weight. It isn’t easy though since I am pretty much constantly eating. This is such a difficult thing to get accustomed to since I spent pretty much my whole life not allowing myself to eat and now I have to, so I had to retrain my brain.. She also stated that I am not drinking enough water which is causing me to be light-headed and dizzy when I get up from a sitting position.  My B12 and Iron levels were also low but these are pretty minor problem that are easily rectified with water, B12 shots and additional Iron supplements. Purchasing vitamins and mineral supplements can be a financial strain but they are necessary to retain optimal health and well being.

My body still hasn’t adjusted to the cold. Since I don’t have my insulation anymore sweaters and flannels are my new apparel. My husband likes the sweaters but isn’t all that keen on my chosen bedroom attire which consists of two piece flannel pajamas and thick wooly’s for my cold tootsies. The worst part of it all is that I am usually still freezing! LOL But, all in all, having the surgery was a great success and I couldn’t be any  more happier.

I started the process for second phase, skin removal. I met with a very cute plastic surgeon while I was in Rochester. He works out of Highland Hospital as well so I knew that I would be in good hands but what I didn’t know is that I had to strip down to my ill-fitting birthday suit as part of the process and it didn’t help matters that it was cold in the examining room.

Anyway….he informed me exactly what he would be doing as he lifted and adjusted my saggy body parts. Then he told me that recovery time would be about six weeks. So now I am starting the process all over again with OHIP to acquire “Out of Country surgery”

I will keep you informed.    Victoria Reed

Over 3,000 years ago, during the Bronze Age, the first buttons made their debut. While recognizably buttons, Bronze Age man didn’t fasten anything with them, but simply wore them for decoration. The dandies of the day wore buttons fashioned from bone, horn, wood, metal or even seashells; but, in the absence of a buttonhole, were they anything more than just sew-on brooches?

The Greeks thought the button might make a nifty fastener. They ran the button through a little loop of thread and thereby created a use for the button, alongside the pin or the brooch, to keep garments together. As clothing became more fitted, the button and loop became more attractive since it was less likely to cause injury than a pin.

By around 1200, the button and buttonhole arrived in Europe, delivered, like many other things, by the returning Crusaders.  The button and buttonhole were to become a driving force in clothing design. The first buttonholes were slits made in fabric just big enough to pass the button through and this was enough to hold clothes fast and inspire a fashion revolution.

By the middle of the 1300s buttons were big business and people loved them. Tailors produced garments with row upon row of buttons with matching buttonholes.

This attraction for buttons resulted in some outfits adorned with thousands of buttons, all of them with accompanying buttonholes. Dressing and undressing became a chore, but created a niche for the employment of professional dressers.

When buttons first appeared in the 17th century, they were seen only on garments of the wealthy. At that time it was the custom for rich men to dress themselves and for women to be dressed by servants.

Having women’s shirts button from the left thus made things easier for the mostly right-handed servants who dressed them. Having men’s shirts button from the right made sense not only because most men dressed themselves but also because a sword drawn from the left hip with the right hand would be less likely to become caught in the shirt.

Today, virtually no women are dressed by servants but buttoning from the left is still the norm for women.

1. Do your dressing in your boudoir to keep your allure. Be ready to go when date arrives. Don’t keep him waiting. Greet him with a smile!

2. Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchief and smudge them with lipstick. Makeup in privacy, not where he sees you.

3. Don’t sit in an awkward position and never look bored, even if you are. Be alert and if you must chew gum (not advised) do it silently, mouth closed.

4. Careless women never appeal to gentlemen. Don’t talk while dancing. When a man dances, he wants to dance.

5.If you need a brassiere, wear one. Don’t tug at your girdle and be careful that your stocking are not wrinkled.

6. Don’t use the car mirror to fix your makeup. Men need it in driving and it annoys him very much to have to turn it around to see what’s behind him.

7. Don’t be familiar with your escort by caressing him in public. Any open show of affection is in bad taste, usually embarrasses or humiliates him.

8. Don’t be sentimental or try to get him to say something he doesn’t want to by working on his emotions. Men don’t like tears, especially in public places.

9. Don’t be familiar with the headwaiter, talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. Men deserve and desire your entire attention.

10. Don’t talk about clothes or try to describe your new gown to a man. Please and flatter your date by talking about the things he wants to talk about.

11. Don’t drink too much as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening. Drinking may make some girls seem clever but most just get silly.

12. Don’t be conspicuous talking to other men.

13. The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again.

Source: www.blogcatalog.com

After delivering the August issue of Victoria’s Read, something very scary happened to me.

My husband and I were invited out to a relative’s house for an evening of socializing. The evening was going very well and I was having a wonderful time when suddenly I felt very strange and my vision got distorted. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor with everyone around me calling my name. I had fainted for the first time in my life.

After a battery of tests ordered by my doctor to rule out the ‘worst case scenarios’, since I did break a tree with my head last winter while out on my very first (and maybe my last) snowmobile ride, it was concluded that “My gas tank had run low”.

During the day of delivering my leaflets, I had failed to watch how, when and what I was eating and we all know how important it is to eat properly, especially after a gastric bypass surgery.

It was a big wake-up call for me. I had been taking good care of myself but admit that I wasn’t paying very close attention to exactly what I was nourishing my body with. Since I eat such little amounts of food in a day, I needed to make more conscious decisions on just what the nutritional value was.

For this reason, a good quality multi-vitamin is extremely important. I can’t stress this point enough. I feel that most of the over-the-counter vitamins just don’t have enough key ingredients in them to measure up to my nutritional needs. Also, I don’t particularly like the idea of filling my body with synthetic fillers like cellulose (wood pulp) or propylene glycol (anti-freeze) .

My wonderfully supportive family and I went researching for the very best multi-vitamin available and found it! So now, I am feeling great again and back on track. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the cost wasn’t outrageously more than the over-the-counter vitamins. Regardless, you get what you pay for, right!

So now, I am at the stage of maintaining my current weight. I have lost 90 pounds and feel that it is enough.  (Thank you to you all for the kind words and advice.) This was difficult in the beginning but with the assistance of my doctor in Rochester, I caught on quickly. It all comes down to eating a lot of protein. (Meat and dairy)

This gem is from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine, written for male supervisors of women during World War II. These were “helpful tips” on supervising women at work.

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.                                                                            

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.                                           

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.                                             

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.                                                                                               

 5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.                      

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.                            

 7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.                                         

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.                                                                                             

 9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.                                                                        

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.                                                                        

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.”                             

 Source:classic.feministing.com

There are many fine places to be in the world. Sitting outside on my deck soaking up the afternoon sun and listening to all the wildlife is a very fine place to be. Going for a leisurely afternoon drive in the country and stopping for some ice cream at a roadside country store is another. Looking out over the still waters of the beach on a sunny day could also be my favorite place. Casting out over the side of a boat on a scenic lake could easily be my favorite place too.

The truth is though that my most favorite place to be is lying in my husband’s arms. It is where I feel the most content. A feeling of genuine peace fills my whole being and I know that this is the best place on earth.  It makes me feel protected like absolutely nothing can penetrate his muscular embrace.  When I put my head on his shoulder, I immediately begin to feel all my stresses gently slip away and then he wraps his big strong arms around me and life is good. As I lay there listening to his steady heartbeat, I know without even asking that his heart beats only for me just as mine only beats for him.

He was born weighing only two pounds,  nine ounces and fought hard to survive. I like to think that he lived through those first difficult days because he had to find me and change my life forever. That he did. He introduced me to the simpler way of life. He showed me how to enjoy and appreciate the great outdoors, to sit quietly and listen to the sweet songs of the birds, staring up at the stars on a clear night, to smell the beautiful fragrance of wild roses and the thrill of watching fireflies dancing in the summer night’s air.

We made and raised two fabulous children together who are doing great out on their own. We are fortunate enough to not suffer from the empty nest syndrome because we are a close family and see them regularly. We are very happy for that.  

We will be celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary this month and we are still very much in love. He still makes my heart race when he scoops me up in his arms. I still wait in anticipation to see him walk through the door after a hard day’s work. He still gives me goosebumps when I see him from across the room. I still enjoy being chased around the house, trying to avoid another tickling session and we look forward to growing old together.

I can’t wait to find out what the next 26 years will bring but I do know that  I’ll never ever tire of being in the best place on earth, in my husband’s arms of love.  

You and me baby, forever and ever.

My six month check up went very well. My doctor was very happy with my weight loss results and to see that I was still very healthy. “You look great. Your blood tests results are all good except for your vitamin D levels which could result in achy bones.” She announced.  I had noticed that my bones were a little achy but chaulked it up to them being closer to the surface now. LOL.

Let me give credit where credit is due right here though. After informing my parents about my achy bones, they suggested that I take Calcium Magnesium with vitamin D and just two days after beginning to take them, my bones no longer ached.  So, thanks Mom and Dad. I should have listened to you earlier. I guess some things never change no matter how old you are, like your parents always know best.

The doctor and I talked about what weight I should be at. “I wouldn’t recommend that you get down to any less than 145 pounds.” She stated. She informed me that I could control that through calorie intake. “If you find yourself weighing less than that, you will need to increase your calorie intake and visa versa and don’t forget to take into consideration that the access skin weighs about another ten pounds.”

She told me to start eating small portions of toast and that my intolerance to breads should subside but I know people who had the bypass surgery over a year ago and still cannot tolerate bread but I’m hopeful. So far, it isn’t any better but I’m okay with that.

I will need to eat 5 to 6 small meals a day and take vitamins for the rest of my life. A small price to pay for health right and I didn’t have any complications from the surgery or recovery. I am very fortunate to have met the wonderful women who directed me to the Highland Hospital in Rochester, New York. Thank you, Kim.

I don’t need to be seen again for six months and after that it will be yearly. So, my next step after losing another 25 pounds is to get all my access skin removed. I’ve been looking into getting what they call a “panty hose lift”. It’s where doctors lift all your skin up from your feet to your torso. I’ve been told that the procedure uses 1000 stitches! I don’t have all my facts yet but will be sure to do all my research before making any decisions.

I’m feeling great and loving the new healthier me.